though it's been said many times, many ways

[more_magic]

It’s strange to think of where he was a year ago, exactly. Waking up in Alex’s bed, hung over from the shame of the night before and the lingering effects of whatever Manuscript had given him, preparing for his first full day in a city outside of the world he knew and realizing in the process that he’d lost nearly two months in the space of a breath. There were more shocks to come, more alterations in what he thought to be true, but very little had managed to surpass the disorientation of that initial beginning to his tenure in Darrow.

Back then, Darlington had wondered what they might have done at home, if Alex would’ve been on a plane to California at the start of break--or if he might have managed to convince her to stay, to spend Christmas at Black Elm with him. What they got instead was better, that makeshift celebration with hastily-bought gifts and the smell of a half-remembered recipe wafting from Alex’s kitchen; the start of something new, even if neither of them had known the depths of that newness at the time. And now, a year on, through hard work and some kind of miracle, he gets what he’d wondered about after all.

Christmas Day will be just for them, presents and breakfast and relaxing by the fire, but tonight is a chance to celebrate. They decorate the main floor of Black Elm, filling the rooms they’ve already managed to furnish with light and warmth, the tree they’d bought earlier in the month standing by one of the large picture windows in the great room. Alex cooks all of Estrea Stern’s recipes she can think of, adds a few of Bernadette’s that Darlington remembers from his childhood. There’s music low on the stereo, a fire lit in the vast fireplace, the new table and chairs they’d bought for the formal dining room arranged just so beneath the chandelier at the center of the room. Even Kirby gets into the spirit in a new, festive collar, bright red against his black fur.

Above all, they’ve invited the people that matter, the few who have come to mean something--to one or both of them--in the year that’s just passed. It’s the first real party Black Elm has seen in many years, not since Darlington’s grandfather was alive. It feels, once again, like starting something new.

[[tag in, tag around, enjoy the party!]]

Comments

[maloscuridad]

"Gods, I know what that's like," Nova says. Not that Angela Santiago's place was ever his definition of safety but it had been the closest thing for a long time before he found Patricio Mortiz and they took him back in.

"My grams owns a bakery. I know a thing or two."

[takecourage]

"Estrea was never great at baking," says Alex, with a faint grin. "Made a mean flatbread though." She looks down. "She always lit candles in her windows and the greys didn't have the balls to come anywhere near."

[maloscuridad]

Nova laughs at the mental image. He doesn't really see ghosts unless he's somewhere or sometime when the veil is thin but it's easy to imagine what a comfort that must have brought someone like Alex.

"In another life, my grandma was probably a mad scientist. I'm just grateful it's not this one."

[takecourage]

She huffs a laugh through her nose.

"I feel like our grandma's would either have really liked each other or been like...mortal fucking enemies."

[maloscuridad]

Nova laughs, the same small, amused sound as Alex.

"Probably mortal enemies. She's got a short list of people she likes. I'm not even on it." He can laugh about it now, but only because it covers up the old sting. "She kicked me out when I was, like, seventeen."

[takecourage]

"You made it to two years longer than I did," says Alex with a rueful smile. "Although nobody threw me out. I just...stopped going back."

[maloscuridad]

"Yeah, but I was only sixteen when I moved in with her." The crazy thing is, Nova misses her sometimes. Angela Santiago's home in Red Hook was the first time he'd entertained the thought of having a place that was permanent. It'd been a pipe dream but he still remembers that moment of hope.

[takecourage]

Alex looks at him for a long moment and then moves away from the stove and presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"I'm sorry, Nova," she says, sincerely. "That's such shit."

[maloscuridad]

There's so much in Alex's face when she looks at him that Nova almost can't read it. Then she kisses him, gentle as anything, and Nova puts an arm around her for a hug.

"I deserved it," he says. "Still sucked."

[takecourage]

She leans into the warm solidity of him for a moment, her head against his shoulder. "Yeah," she says. "But, shit. Look at us. Existing anyway."

[maloscuridad]

It's familial and undemanding in a way that makes Nova's chest squeeze. It's moments like these or like what he had with Alex, her sisters and parents, that make him think that this is what a real family must feel like. He'd gone seventeen years of his life, not knowing.

"I'm a weed," he says. "Too stubborn to kill."

[takecourage]

"That makes too of us then," she says. She looks down at his hands for a moment. "I've been thinking. Since Halloween. There's...maybe something we can do about that. If you'd let me try?"

[maloscuridad]

"You think?" Nova asks, looking down at his own hands as Alex does too. "What is it?" He tries to keep his tone of voice even, to not let himself hope too much.

[takecourage]

"Remember how I showed up?" she says. "In the crucible? It's...I'd had the shit kicked out of me when I went into it." She reaches out with one hand, tracing the ink-like smudges across Nova's palm. "I'd been through a regeneration spell. It took my body back before someone hurt it." She looks up at him. "I don't know how long it would last - Danny would know better than me - but we've got it, and I bet Danny knows the spell. It could be like..." She thinks about it for a moment, groping for the word. "Treatment."

[maloscuridad]

It takes more restraint than Nova would like to admit to keep from flinching. The marks on his hands are unavoidable and unignorable but it's still hard to watch and feel Alex's gentle fingertips along his skin. She knows what they mean.

He takes in what she says and the hope in his chest feels too dangerous to be real. "That'd be an awful long way to travel back," he says but he knows Alex can hear the way his breath catches.

[takecourage]

"It wouldn't be quite the same spell, I don't think," she says. "Less a...rewind,more a...renew. We'd probably have to keep doing it every so often, but..." She shrugs. "It'd make it something you could live with, maybe. Go on living with."

[maloscuridad]

"Spa day?" Nova makes a joke of it but he can't hide the choked sound in his voice. What Alex is offering is the most hope he's felt in two years and he's scared to let it take root. He still remembers that tantalizing promise of a second Death Day. Losing even the chance of it had been a blow.

"I'd give it a shot," he finally says, throat constricted.