more_magic: (1)
It’s strange to think of where he was a year ago, exactly. Waking up in Alex’s bed, hung over from the shame of the night before and the lingering effects of whatever Manuscript had given him, preparing for his first full day in a city outside of the world he knew and realizing in the process that he’d lost nearly two months in the space of a breath. There were more shocks to come, more alterations in what he thought to be true, but very little had managed to surpass the disorientation of that initial beginning to his tenure in Darrow.

Back then, Darlington had wondered what they might have done at home, if Alex would’ve been on a plane to California at the start of break--or if he might have managed to convince her to stay, to spend Christmas at Black Elm with him. What they got instead was better, that makeshift celebration with hastily-bought gifts and the smell of a half-remembered recipe wafting from Alex’s kitchen; the start of something new, even if neither of them had known the depths of that newness at the time. And now, a year on, through hard work and some kind of miracle, he gets what he’d wondered about after all.

Christmas Day will be just for them, presents and breakfast and relaxing by the fire, but tonight is a chance to celebrate. They decorate the main floor of Black Elm, filling the rooms they’ve already managed to furnish with light and warmth, the tree they’d bought earlier in the month standing by one of the large picture windows in the great room. Alex cooks all of Estrea Stern’s recipes she can think of, adds a few of Bernadette’s that Darlington remembers from his childhood. There’s music low on the stereo, a fire lit in the vast fireplace, the new table and chairs they’d bought for the formal dining room arranged just so beneath the chandelier at the center of the room. Even Kirby gets into the spirit in a new, festive collar, bright red against his black fur.

Above all, they’ve invited the people that matter, the few who have come to mean something--to one or both of them--in the year that’s just passed. It’s the first real party Black Elm has seen in many years, not since Darlington’s grandfather was alive. It feels, once again, like starting something new.

[[tag in, tag around, enjoy the party!]]
more_magic: (94)
Even as a child, Darlington understood how singular, how private, a place Black Elm was. His world was its crumbling towers and vast hallways, the ever-changing, ever growing gardens that surrounded the house on all sides, its only inhabitants himself, his grandfather, and their housekeeper Bernadette. It was all he needed, a magic he didn't have to seek to understand because it was always there.

And when things changed, when Daniel Tabor Arlington III was dead and buried and the care of the house fell to him, it was that long-practiced secrecy that kept him safe. He bolted the doors after his parents left, learned to survive in bits and pieces, selling what he could to ensure that the house--and himself, though the wearier he grew, the less important that seemed--would make it through another day, another winter, another year. Having so rarely invited friends over before, it didn't seem strange that even those scant invitations stopped, or turned into far more polite alternatives: the public library, staying late after school, refusing a ride back to Westville with a gracious smile and a thanks, but I have my bike. With no one to see the house standing empty, there were no questions he had to field about what a teenaged boy was doing all on his own, about where his parents were (New York, as always) or when they would be back (never, if he could help it).

Darlington had no problem with lying, not really, but avoiding it entirely meant he couldn't be trapped, that his secret was safe--for another day, another winter, another year.

The desperation of it faded with time, though even then he was sparing with when and to whom he showed Black Elm. It had become an outgrowth of his heart and his soul, the one thing tethering him to the world. Dean Sandow had seen it, of course, and Michelle, an act of trust towards the people introducing him to another kind of magic. Alex's invitation had been slightly forced, like so much else about knowing her there and then; both of them drenched in a thunderstorm and not that far from the house, its vast fireplace just waiting to be put to work.

That hasn't changed much in Darrow, now that Black Elm is here. Alex has opened the doors to far more people, had friends over or merely extended an invitation for some future time, while he still waits and thinks, wanting to be sure in some way he can't define. It's something that should change, and that knowledge pushes him to pick up his phone and give Caleb a call. There are repairs to be done, that perpetual fight against age and time Darlington's been aware of his whole life, and having another set of hands will only make it easier. They make plans for that weekend, a Saturday afternoon that promises to be clear and just a little chill, exactly the kind of autumnal weather he's always loved. As he waits for Caleb's knock on the door, Darlington wanders through the ground floor of the house, room by room.
more_magic: (60)
Everything Darlington had ever read suggested that January was meant to be a time of new beginnings. Of starting afresh, of stepping through a doorway--the month named, after all, for Janus--and becoming somehow better than one had been in the year just past. There were rites, and rituals, and spells to recite; if he'd been a Roman, he might have given a tribute of figs and honey, or salt and coin, depending on how much one trusted Ovid's account. Regardless, things at the start of a new year were meant to be different.

In looking over the ruin of his January, Darlington wishes he'd been more specific about the kind of new beginning he'd been seeking.

He could ask how, or why, or when things went so spectacularly wrong, but in his heart he knows the answer. Knows, too, the only person there is to blame for it. He'd made a litany of wrong choices, flung himself down a path that he'd built stone by stone out of his own rigidity and judgement and anger. Whether awake or asleep, he's been plagued by flashes of his own regrettable memories: the smear of glitter on Alex's cheek, that full moon night; the tight set of his own jaw as he hid in the squalid shadows of the club and watched her gyrate on stage only a few days ago; the sound of that mug shattering against the wall beside his head; the sneer of his voice as he said one unforgivable thing after another. If he could begin again, walk through the doorway of the new year once more and be wiped clean, he would. He'd give anything to do it. But he can't.

With his one Monday class cancelled, he's agreed to take on an additional shift at work today, coupling his usual morning shift at the museum with another in the afternoon. It felt good to work, to sink into the repetition of selling tickets and directing guests, pointing the way to the restrooms or the temporary exhibit hall and taking down yet another complaint that the touchscreens in the Human Bodies gallery were malfunctioning. It doesn't quite keep him from dwelling--nothing, really, ever could--but it's enough to let him forget for small stretches of time.

The gap between the end of one shift and the start of the next means he's managed to swing a full hour and a half for lunch. After using his staff discount to buy a sandwich and a bottled juice from the cafe in the museum courtyard, he looks around for a place to sit. There's some tour group from one of the high schools here, a chattering tangle of adolescents picking at their own sack lunches and sprawling across the benches, and as he makes his way to a vacant table at the other end of the seating area, Darlington affords them a slightly wide berth.

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Daniel Arlington

June 2021

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