hey, it is a job, it pays a lot; is it disservicing someone?

[more_magic]

That he waits until the end of the week isn't delaying or reluctance--or, frankly, a resistance to the absurdity of taking romantic advice from a high schooler--merely a desire, after having done so much wrong, to finally get one thing right. He knows he's behaved abominably, said things that he never thought himself capable of, and even after Caleb's assurances, Darlington's not sure forgiveness is a thing that Alex will be able to find where he's concerned.

He holds onto the hope of it, along with his memories of that first week he'd spent in Darrow; their easy intimacy, growing close in a way that they'd only begun to manage back in New Haven, and the surprising and utterly wanted course their night had taken up at Kagura. Thinks, too, of the certainty in Caleb's voice as he'd said You make her feel the butterflies. He wants, more than anything, not to be wrong about this.

He'd agreed to work this month's Final Friday evening program at the museum, and by the time he's finished helping the other front-of-house staff clean up and pack everything away, it's already past ten. If Alex is working tonight, it's more than likely that she's gone already, but after a brief stop at his own apartment, Darlington's on his way to the Bramford. He knocks on her door, using his key when there's no answer, finding the apartment empty and dark.

There's a moment where he thinks about waiting, about being there once more when she gets home just like he had been the night he'd come to work on the wards. It is, he knows, some kind of a coward's choice; the easy way out of a situation that he should have been strong enough to face up to well before now. Breathing out a long sigh, he leaves the bag he'd brought by the side of her couch and heads back into the cold, hailing a cab and giving the driver an address that gains him a winking look in the rearview mirror that he tries to ignore.

Only a week ago, he'd sworn he'd never go back, that there was no place for him here even if Alex was hellbent on making it hers. Even now, he'd rather be anywhere else. But there's no other place Darlington knows he should be tonight if he's going to make some attempt at fixing even a fraction of what he alone had broken.

They pull up outside the club on Paper, and after paying the driver and going through the ritual of cover and ID with the bouncer at the door, Darlington goes inside. The music is just as loud and grinding as before, the crowds around the stage just as vulgar, the drinks from the bar just as watered down; once again, it fills him with displeasure and unease and has him glancing towards the exit. He stays instead, choosing a table that's neither fully lit by the stage nor completely hidden in the shadows and setting down his drink.

This may only break things further between them, bring about an assumption or an argument that will sever the thin threads that still remain of their tie to one another. Darlington can only hope, with the kind of surrendering faith that he's reserved for few other things in his life--and once before for Alex, on a Halloween that turned into nothing he could have anticipated--that it'll be something altogether different.

Comments

[takecourage]

She feels her cheeks colour at that, reaching up to trace her fingers along the strong line of his jaw as he looks down at her.

"I've never...other than the club, I've never had a chance to do that with a guy," she says. "The clubs just pretend, so...Yeah. Doing it for real would be new."

[more_magic]

He leans into the touch, his eyes closing as she runs her fingers along his jaw in a way that's lighter and more gentle than anything he knows he'd have expected of her when first they met. He'd been mistaken about her, in so many ways.

"Uncharted territory for us both," he says, a small smile on his lips. "As long as you want to do it for real. With me." He opens his eyes again, meeting hers once more. "Anything we do, together, it should be something the both of us want."

[takecourage]

"I can't think of much I wouldn't want to do with you if we're both naked," she says, her own smile echoing his. It feels...deeply weird to be allowed to say things like that to him. She nods, brushing the pad of her thumb across his lips. She's spent too much of her time doing what other people want. She knows that that's something Darlington would never ask of her.

[more_magic]

There's a faint electricity to the sweep of her thumb against his lips, light as it is. Before she moves away, Darlington shifts, tilting his head just enough to kiss the side of her hand, something gentle and instinctive. "We're still naked now, Stern," he points out, one eyebrow slightly quirked. "Anything more you want to do tonight? Asking me additional questions, or otherwise."

[takecourage]

"What do you want to do to me right now?" she asks, and, since he's reminded her that they're naked, she shifts under the blanket, just grazing her fingers against the length of his cock.

[more_magic]

"As comfortable as this is," he says, groaning quietly as her fingers run along his cock, shifting into the touch, "I want to take you to bed. And provided it's what you want too, I think I'd want to see if the reality of the way you look on top of me, riding me, is better than what I've fantasized."

One corner of his mouth lifts in a lazy smile, and he leans to kiss her. "I have a suspicion it might be."

[takecourage]

Alex makes a soft sound against Darlington's mouth when he kisses her, leaning into him for a moment. Comfortable as the couch is, it's not really big enough for both of them, and she nods.

"I would definitely, definitely like that," she says. "But we need to take the blanket with us. The blanket is my new favourite thing."

[more_magic]

"Far be it from me to part you from your newfound beloved," he says, his tone fond and wry as he--so reluctantly--starts to disentangle himself and get up from beneath the blanket. They've left the living room a mess, clothes scattered around the couch and draped along the back, the bag he'd brought the blanket in now empty and tipped on its side, but all Darlington sees is Alex, still half-draped in the blanket, her hair tumbled around her head.

She was always this beautiful, he thinks, and on some level, he's always known it.

He glances up, towards her bedroom a short distance away, a sudden and ridiculous idea in his head. "How literally would you like to be taken to bed?" he asks, looking back down at her with a grin. "I think I could carry you."

[takecourage]

A wide, delighted grin spreads across Alex's face. Honestly, she's never heard naything so ridiculous in her life, which doesn't mean that it doesn't also sound perfect.

"Fuck yeah," she says.

[more_magic]

Alex grins at him, and once again, it's like being made privy to a secret; seeing the girl she might have been under another circumstance.

"Colorfully put as always," he says, before bending a little, arranging the blanket around her in a way that shouldn't have it dragging on the ground if he actually does manage to pick her up. The last thing either of them needs is for him to trip. "Hang on tight." Darlington guides one of her arms around his neck, then scoops her up, cradling her to his chest as he moves slowly and smoothly back to a standing position. He'd never expected to use all those hours of training back home in exactly this fashion, but right now he's glad for every single one of them.

[takecourage]

He hoists her up into his arms like it's nothing, and Alex can't help the delighted thrill that she feels when he lifts her like that. She's been carried before in her life, but it's never been because of something good. She curls close to him, gathering the blanket in around her.

"So far so good," she says.

[more_magic]

He smiles at that, at the sight of her curled in against him, more contented and pleased and almost giddy than he thinks he's ever seen her. "Glad it already meets with your exacting approval." After dropping a kiss to the sleek center part of her hair, he starts walking towards her room.

Once there, he goes to the side of the bed, laying her carefully down onto the sheets and kissing her, long and slow, before he pulls away again.

[takecourage]

Alex settles down into the sheets, still draped in the soft folds of the blankets, and takes the opportunity to just look at him, naked and lovely and content to be hers, apparently. She's never felt anything quite like this before.

She holds her hand out to him.

"Don't keep me waiting," she says.

[more_magic]

"Wouldn't dream of it," he says. He'd done just that for far too long already, caught within his own jealousy and tangled up in convictions he doesn't believe in--and maybe never really did. Alex holds her hand out to him, and Darlington takes it, lets her draw him onto the bed. He's already well on his way to being hard again, and he bites his lip, looking over as he settles against the pillows.

"Flat on my back, or were you thinking something different, Stern?"

[takecourage]

She rolls onto her side to look at him, so close that she could almost brush the tip of her nose against his. "You could sit," she says. "Lean back against the headboard?" She tilts her head against the pillow. "Depends on the view you want, I suppose."

[more_magic]

"Against the headboard it is, then," he says, but rather than move he stays just as he is for a moment, the two of them curled close enough that he can feel the soft heat of her breath on every exhale. In a way, it reminds him of that first week in Darrow, the two of them in one another's spaces and sharing each other's beds and convinced that all of it was somehow platonic.

It never was. He sees that now, better than he ever could have before.

He runs a hand down her side as she lies there, his touch light, before he shifts to sit up once again. Leaning back against the headboard of Alex's bed, he curls his fingers around his cock, stroking slowly.

[takecourage]

Alex doesn't move immediately. He's so beautiful like that, leaning back, his fingers curled around his cock, stroking slowly. She watches for a moment, and then she pushes up onto her elbow and leans in to press a kiss to the bare skin tight over the jut of his hipbone. "You've got a beautiful cock," she says. "I shouldn't be surprised, but..."

[more_magic]

"Never a compliment I expected to hear from you," he says, groaning a little as he keeps stroking himself. When Alex presses that kiss to his hip, Darlington can't help smiling. "Not that I'm complaining."

[takecourage]

"You must have heard that before, though," she says, sitting up and then shifting her weight so that she can straddle his thighs. "I literally cannot be the first girl to say that to you."

[more_magic]

"There's an egotism to admitting I've heard it before," he counters, watching Alex sit up. The blanket slides to pool at her waist, and for once, he doesn't think of his vision on Halloween. The reality, after all, is far better. "But no, Alex, you're not the first girl to tell me I have a beautiful cock."

His head tilts back slightly as Alex moves to straddle him, and the sight of her there--the slender lines of her body and the dark spill of her hair--is one he's not sure he'll ever get tired of.

[takecourage]

She reaches between them, her fingers brushing over his for a moment before she nudges them out of the way, curling her fingers around the length of his cock so that she can guide him into place, so that she can start to slide down onto his cock.

[more_magic]

Darlington lets her move his hand away, lets her replace it with her own as she guides him between her thighs and sinks down. There's still nothing between them, the slick heat of her enveloping him, and he groans. His eyes flutter half-closed for a moment, but he makes himself open them again, wanting to see her like this.

[takecourage]

With him sitting, rather than lying, they're much closer than they might be as she slides down onto his cock, and and it's the easiest thing in the world to lean forward and kiss him.

"Good as you imagined?" she asks, one hand braced against his chest, the other curled around the bedframe as she starts to move.

[more_magic]

His hand slides along the curve of her hip as she leans in, the kiss she gives him somehow all the sweeter for the position they're in. "Better," he says as she begins to ride him, her hips rolling in a way that pulls another soft groan out of him. "Which I might have expected."

[takecourage]

"Never know until you try," she says, keeping up the slow, steady roll of her hips. She doesn't want to rush either of them towards the edge too quickly. "Is this your favourite? Position, I mean..."